


The One Where Michael Died

by Mogartotherescue



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Jeremy is very guilty, M/M, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, christine tries, could be either platonic or romantic, im sorry, its not funatall, like all angst, no actual romance involved, theres a funeral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11886897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mogartotherescue/pseuds/Mogartotherescue
Summary: Michael died in that fire at Jake's halloween party. Jeremy has to live with the aftermaths.





	The One Where Michael Died

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen many where it says that Michael died in that fire but I haven't seen one with what happens after he dies. So yeah, sorry about this.

Michael Mell died in a fire at Jake Dillinger's Halloween Party.

After having a major panic attack, he realized too late the bathroom was filling with smoke. He knew at this point that he wouldn't survive. He laid in the bathtub, hoping his mom wouldn't be too devastated.

Michael Mell died of smoke inhalation only a few minutes later.

\-----

"Yo! Did you hear what happened at Jake's party last friday?"

"No duh. It's all over the news."

Two guys sat gossiping to each other in the seats in the classroom next to Jeremy, the teacher was late. Jeremy tried to tune them out. He hadn't left his bed all weekend. He knew he really hurt both Brooke and Michael that night, and sat depressed, refusing to interact with the outside world unless he needed to.

_'Jeremy, you can't keep silent forever. Eventually, you're going to need to talk to the other kids in order to actually gain popularity.'_

Jeremy knew this. But he also still felt guilty about the party, he did not want to face Brooke or Chloe anytime soon. His attention went back to the boys when he heard Michael's name.

"You mean the headphones kid? Shit dude I didn't know him but I doubt he deserved it." Jeremy was confused. What else had happened at the party? He knew Rich started a fire, but what else could've happened? "Yeah, and what happened to Rich? Think they're going to charge him with murder?" Murder?? Michael??? Jeremy did not like where his thoughts were leading him. 

'What happened that night' He asked his Squip.

 _'How would I know?'_ the machine answered carefully.

'Bullshit, you knew Eminem died. What happened friday night?' This time, the squip stayed silent. Jeremy began to grow more nervous. He stood suddenly and ran to the bathroom. The boys that were gossiping immediately went silent. They did not realize who they were sitting next to.

In the bathroom, Jeremy demanded answers. He knew he looked deranged, talking to himself angrily.

 _'Look I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. Michael died in that fire on friday night.'_ Jeremy felt his heart stop. 

"M-Michael? Dead? No you're lying, You have to be lying."

_'If you really don't believe me, check the news. You would've seen it if you actually listened to me and went outside.'_

Jeremy pulled out his phone, his hand trembling. He scrolled to the news app. The first page he saw said 'HOUSE FIRE STARTED BY TEENAGER. TWO INJURED, ONE DEAD'

His phone clattered to the ground. His body racked with sobs and he covered his hand with his mouth. He fell to the ground on his knees, unable to support himself.

_'Oh don't pretend that you actually cared for him, Jeremy. He was your friend because you didn't want to be completely alone'_

"Shut up," Jeremy said quietly, staring at the tiles, his hand still covering most of his face.

_'Come on. You didn't care for him. Just face it and let's get back to ou-'_

"SHUT UP." The squip was silent, taken back by Jeremy's outburst. "JU-just leave me alone." The squip complied, knowing he could do nothing in this situation. Although he did see a future where the kid ended up dead, he did not expect this kind of a reaction from a boy who left his best friend so easily.

Jeremy could not believe what he read. Michael Mell, his best friend of 12 years, was killed. He ran to one of the toilets in the stalls, puking up any breakfast he ate that morning. Only one phrase getting repeated over and over in his head. 

'Move out of the way, loser'

\-----

Jeremy barely made it back home. He just couldn't be at that school. The school where Michael would roam the halls, one arm over Jeremy's shoulders, telling yet another pun. Back at the school, where now people gave him pitying glances. No one really knew Michael, but they could remember him and Jeremy almost always together.

His dad was home, in his office doing some work, when he heard the front door open and close.

"Jeremy?" He got up from his desk. There in the doorway stood his son, who had dried tear streaks along his cheeks. "Son, what happened?" 

Jeremy tackled his father into a hug. The father, not used to his son giving him hugs since middle school, almost fell down. He was able to catch himself and keep his arms around the brunette. His son just wept and held on to him tighter.

He didn't know what was going on, but for once he was determined to be there for his son.

\-----

A week later, Mrs. Mell held the funeral. 

Mrs. Mell was in worse shape than Jeremy. After losing her husband in a work accident, she had hoped she would never be apart of another funeral lest her own. But now she had lost her two boys. Her grief was painful to be near. However, Jeremy knew he couldn't miss this.

There weren't many people that showed up. It was him, his dad, Mrs. Mell, and some students who either were pretending to care, or spoke to Michael little. 

Michael's mom had asked him if he would speak, but he didn't know what to say. It was his fault Michael was in that bathroom. It was his fault Michael was dead.

 _'Jeremy, why don't you just ditch? You could use this time to gain sympathy from Christine'_ His squip supplied. No, he was going to speak. Fuck his squip. Jeremy goes up to the platform, taking in a shaky breath.

"Michael and I had been best friends for 12 years. When you're with a person that long, you get to know everything about them. I knew Michael loved slushies because of the way it would numb his brain. I know that in seventh grade, he was the biggest nerd for anime." Mrs. Mell and Jeremy's dad both had little smiles at this, remembering the way he committed to learning Japanese, which only lasted a month. "I know that in eighth grade, coming out as gay terrified him. Michael was compassionate, loud, silly, and a complete dork. He was a way better friend than I deserved," Jeremy's fond smile turned bitter, "I loved him, and I hope wherever he is, he can see me here right now. Michael, you were my favorite person and my greatest friend."

Jeremy turned, looking at Micheal in the casket. He didn't look like himself. His body mostly covered in burns. He had on a gray suit instead of his signature red hoodie. He was pale and so so cold. Jeremy couldn't look at him anymore.

 _'This is your own fault'_ his squip reminded him. Jeremy walked off the stage. Mrs. Mell was sobbing again and Jeremy went to go hug her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

\----

Two months later, Jeremy was back in school. Christine and Brooke tried to help him catch up on his schoolwork, but he just didn't want to. He quit the play. Stopped talking to people, wore Michael's old red hoodie every day, and always had earphones in.

People glanced and stared at him pityingly. They saw the way he murmured to himself. Always saying 'shut up' and 'leave me alone'. They did not know what was wrong and feared he would end up like Rich. 

Rich, by the way, was not charged with murder or arson. They saw how this teenage boy was obviously going through something. He talked to himself. Pointed to a figure that was not really there. He twitched and lost focus a lot. The doctors began to think he had schizophrenia and they sent him to a mental ward, trying to figure out what was wrong and how they could help.

Jeremy understood what he was going through though. He visited often. He knew Rich didn't do it on purpose and tried to comfort him in any way he could. To Rich, Jeremy was the only sane thing he could hang on to. No one else believed him. They all thought he was crazy.

Jeremy though, had to deal with his own squip problems. The tic tac would not leave him alone, trying to manipulate and spin Jeremy into a spiral of self-loathing. It was always 

_'Kid, you could always use this moment to get closer to Christine'_ or _'You are a terrible person that killed your own best friend to become popular'_ or giving him suicidal thoughts like _'hey you could just step in front of that bus, end both of our suffering'_

He could never follow through with suicide. His dad is too dependent on Jeremy. It would break his heart, and he already lost his basically adopted son. 

His dad was better surprisingly. He started to wear pants again and started to actually make dinner and go out to work. Jeremy smiled bitter-sweetly, he was happy his dad was finally doing better but look at what happened for him to finally feel that way again.

Mrs. Mell was not doing any better. She came over for dinner almost every night. She couldn't stand to be in that empty house, too used to the loud noises of video games or music. In fact, she was there when Jeremy got home from school that day.

Jeremy had always loved her. She was always a second mother to him. Michael was the spitting image of her too. 

"How was school?" She attempted a smile, light not reaching her eyes. Jeremy just shrugged, pulling his cardigan over his hands. He couldn't wear the sweater in front of her. He didn't know what reaction she'd have and he didn't want to upset her anymore. 

"Ah well, I'm cooking tonight. I'm making arroz caldo. It'll be ready in a few hours, ok?" Jeremy nodded and headed up to his room. He laid his backpack down and fell onto the bed. His phone buzzed and he reluctantly checked it.

 **Christine:**  
Hey! Just making sure you got the english homework!

_'This is an opportunity! Say no, and I'll help you make the right moves.'_

The brunette sighed, ignoring the computer in his mind. He was thankful Christine even tried with him. After what happened, she saw the state Jeremy was in and only wanted to help. And although he liked her company, all he wanted to do was be alone.

His crush on her had...faded. In fact, ever since he found out, he felt nothing. Nothing but grief and longing. 

Everyone tried to help him out. His dad, Christine, his teachers, hell even Chloe and Jake wanted to take him for frozen yogurt. But he knew he couldn't be fixed. Michael died because of him. If he had only been content with what he had, then his best friend would be alive right now.

No, no one could fix him. He could only live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> So some things to clarify I guess.  
> -Because Jeremy doesn't fall for anymore of the Squips tricks, the squip is not as powerful as he was in the musical  
> -I forgot Rich already knew about Mountain Dew Red so I'm going to say that his Squip made him forget about it, so Rich was never able to get better  
> -I meant to add this in, but Michael's mom moves into a friend's house in North Dakota about 3 months later.  
> -Jeremy is basically only living for his dad at this point. He has major depression.  
> -I only know a little about schizophrenia and I know it usually starts when a person is older but Rich with the squip seemed similar to some schizophrenics. If I'm wrong, please correct me.
> 
> If u see anything that's offensive or wrong pls let me know and I'll change it  
> My Tumblr: www.tumblr.com/poly-space-nerds


End file.
